What do children need to learn first? Their ABCs? Their numbers? As it turns out, the "what" children need to develop is their social intelligence and emotional intelligence, the essential building blocks for all future learning.

In Seven Skills for School Success, best-selling author Pam Schiller provides activities supported by interesting research to develop the social and emotional intelligence of young children.   In order to become successful learners and successful friends, children need to be able to relate to and play with others, express feelings, and understand how others feel.  In an excerpt from this practical, easy-to-use book, the author outlines ways for parents, educators, and caregivers to boost a child’s confidence skills...

 

Model Confidence

·         Describe one of your challenges. When something occurs during the course of your day that seems difficult, say, “Hmmm, it is going to be difficult to organize this toy shelf, but I bet I can do it. I’m sure going to try.” Celebrate by saying, “I did it!” when you accomplish your goal.

·         Talk about the pros and cons of a solution. When you are faced with a problem, talk about it. Point out your options and discuss why you are selecting a certain option. For example, if you are trying to figure out the best place to put a new sandbox, you might describe each possible spot you are considering. Discuss the pros and cons of each location. For example, one spot is shady most of the day, but another spot is far enough away from the door to allow sand to drop off. Ask the child to think of additional pros and cons and even perhaps another location. When you make a decision, explain the rationale for your choice.

Talk About Confidence

·         Define it. Encourage the child to believe she can succeed even if she has to try several times. Describe some familiar people or characters who are confident; for example, the Itsy Bitsy Spider, The Little Engine That Could, and the Little Red Hen.

·         Encourage children to try something new. Ask the child how she feels when she learns something new, such as how to walk on the balance beam, skip, or turn a somersault. Point out that every time she conquers something new she is learning and problem solving. This will help build her confidence.

·         Create an “I Did It” spot. When a child accomplishes a difficult task, ask her to draw a picture about the experience and help her write a sentence or two about how the accomplishment made her feel. Create an “I Did It” spot on the wall for the pictures. Visit this spot often and talk about the pictures.

·         Read books. The following books are wonderful stories about being confident or finding the confidence to do difficult things. Talk about the role of confidence in the stories you choose to read. For example, read Amazing Grace by Mary Hoffman. Ask questions. How did Grace become confident? How do you know she wasn’t confident at the beginning of the story?

A Chair for My Mother by Vera Williams

Amazing Grace by Mary Hoffman

Ant Attack! By Anne James

Benjamin Dilley’s Thirsty Camel by Jolly Roger Bradfield

Caps for Sale by Esphyr Slobodkina

Domino by Claire Masurel

The Doorbell Rang by Pat Hutchins

Harold and the Purple Crayon by Crockett Johnson

When I Feel Good About Myself by Cornelia Maude Spelman

Imogene’s Antlers by David Small

Itsy Bitsy Spider by Iza Trapani

Jennie’s Hat by Ezra Jack Keats

King of the Playground by Phyllis Naylor

The Little Engine that Could by Watty Piper

Mouse Paint by Ellen Stoll Walsh

Mr. Pine’s Purple House by Leonard Kessler

Pickle-Chiffon Pie by Jolly Roger Bradfield

Swimmy by Leo Lionni

Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak

Practice Confidence

·         Challenge children to the edge of their competencies. Children learn and grow when they have opportunities to practice newly acquired skills as well as when they experience a challenge just beyond the level of their present mastery. Children are motivated and feel more successful when they face and then accomplish slightly difficult tasks or activities.

o        March activities to the child’s emerging needs and interests.

o        Challenge the child, but not to the point of frustration. Target experiences to the edge of the child’s changing capacities.

o        Never underestimate a child’s abilities.

o        Work with the child on challenging projects. Offer suggestions for trying new ways to accomplish tasks. Refrain from helping too much.

Pam Schiller, Ph.D., is a freelance early childhood author and consultant. She is Past-President of the Southern Early Childhood Association and Texas Association for the Education of Young Children. She served as Head of the Early Childhood Department at the University of Houston, where she also directed the Lab School. Pam is a highly sought after speaker and has given numerous presentations for organizations such as the National Association for the Education of Young Children, the Southern Early Childhood Association, Association for Childhood Education International, and the International Reading Association. She has written numerous articles for early childhood journals, including Child Care Information Exchange and Texas Child Care Quarterly. Pam is the author of five early childhood curriculums, eleven children's books and more than thirty teacher and parent resource books.